“Guido behaving himself?”
“Yeah, he’s a sweetheart.”
Kaitlyn was right. Having a large – well, largish – reptile that could strangle me at any time just… sitting there was strangely comforting. It was like having a weird weighted blanket that moved just often enough to remind me it was a live snake and not a hypoallergenic poly-cotton blend with glass microbeads. It helped that the ball python was supposedly one of the more docile breeds.
Unfortunately, he was also in exactly the wrong place on my lap. I shifted uncomfortably as I pondered how to ask an embarrassing question.
“I don’t mean to whinge,” I eventually decided on, “but, uh, could you please remove him from my person? You’re right, he’s a lovely fella and I could have him in my lap forever. But I also really need to pee.”
“Oh, sure,” Kaitlyn replied, picking up the snake. “Come here, Guido. Straight ahead, door on the end.”
As I opened the door, something wriggled away and I screamed.
“Ohmigod, are you okay?”
“Yeah,” I yelled back. “Just didn’t know you had two snakes.”
Kaitlyn let out a rather loud swearword from the kitchen. “I don’t, hold on,” she said, a touch threateningly due to the rather long forked stick she was brandishing and the constrictor draped elegantly around her neck.
“Let’s have a look at you… ah, great. You’re venomous, aren’t you?”
“I’m what now?… Oh, right. You’re talking to the snake.”
“Alright, out ya go,” she said, gently if unceremoniously dumping the snake on the ground outside. “I’ll go put Guido back in his cage. Get yourself on your laptop and we can start work on that final exam… project… thing.” She lowered her voice menacingly. “I swear, I am gonna punch the next guy who lets his snake go feral in the face.”
I giggled and went back into the living room. Maybe sticking by my best friend’s side all these years all these years wasn’t so bad. She was right; snakes were pretty cute. Though it was funny that the harmless-looking little one was the more deadly.
But hey, I’m a major computing nerd who also likes pretty dresses. Covers, books, all that jazz.
Thanks for reading! Go read the rest!